Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Seasons Greetings










I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a happy New Year, and a belated Merry Christmas. I took these photos from the rooftop of our hogwan on Christmas day, just before sunset. As you can see, Korea is pretty crowded. However, it was silent on this rooftop at this time. And don't worry, I never thought about jumping.

Officially, I was never up here. I'm not technically supposed to come up here, but am encouraged off the record from higher powers to enjoy the view, which is exactly what I did on this splendid day. I dragged a bottle of cabernet with me and spent some quiet time of reflection and prayer. I should also say that I didn't drink straight from the bottle as I also brought a glass--albeit a coffee mug.

I raised my mug to various friends and family and said a quiet prayer for each one. I thought about my mom and dad, brother and sister, and their children and spouses. It hasn't been the smoothest year for all of us, but I thought about all the great things we have and how many great things the next year will hold. I made a toast to my extended family, and their yearly Christmas celebration. I also acknowledged the soccer bhoys back home, and toasted their continued health and happiness. I raised my glass to the boys back in Columbia, and to my old pool cue which they're now using (and they better damn well be taking care of her). I toasted my other friends in Columbia, St. Louis, and throughout whom I've been so fortunate to have. I said a prayer for the Oestereichs, who are more family than friends. I know this next year will be especially great for them.

I said a prayer of thanks for all of these wonderful people who have been so patient, loving, and accepting of me and are now my faithful readers. I also said a prayer of gratitude for my current place and the new friends in my life. Although at this moment I was all be myself, I never for a second felt alone thanks to the relationships in my life that transcend anything material. I drank to the people who have made me what I am, and how grateful I am to have them in my life.

Then I killed the bottle and decided it was time to get the hell off the rooftop. Happy New Year, everyone... and thank you all. Enjoy the view!!

Monday, December 19, 2005

One of these kids is not like the others...

This picture was taken without a flash. Know why it didn't need one?... Because there's a spotlight on me every time I get on the train. These cars are always packed like sardines full of Koreans and I'm accustomed to being the only whitey in sight. I mean, seriously, look how freakin' white I am. I stick out like a sore thumb everywhere I go, but the train is especially funny to me.

A couple of weeks ago I met a friend at a station in Anyang, which is a huge, crowded station. He spotted me in about 15 seconds, as it was like picking out the moon in the sky. There's never any need for "How will I know where to find you?", as it's always more like "Don't worry, I'm impossible to miss."

We whities have this unwritten code where we nod at each other when spotted. One time I was in one car and I spotted a whitey in the adjacent car through the window, and we both lit up with the same expression of humorous recognition and shot each other the pistol "hey buddy" salutation. It really was funnier than it sounds.

The best subway story so far was when I was going from Hwaseo, the local station, to an unknown destination in Seoul with two other guys, Braden and Bill. The train pulled up while we were a good 75 yards away and up a flight of steps. Braden says: "We can make this thing" and takes off running. Bill followed, and I lagged behind like the newbie that I am. Braden got in the car no problem followed by Bill, who was pushing it. Then the doors started to close as I was about 20 feet away and the Indiana Jones theme kicked on in my head. I didn't have Braden's or Bill's phone numbers, so if I missed this train I'd be s.o.l. I made a mad dash, and leaped through the doors sideways as they closed the instant I made it through. If I could go back and capture just one image on camera, it would be the look of astonishment, amazement, and bewilderment on everyone on the train's faces as I leaped into their car. There was a collective "oooohhh" as I made my spectacular white entry.

Of course, I found out later that the doors aren't like elevator doors and people have been known to get stuck in them. I laughed in the face of danger on this occasion, however... and came out smelling like a rose.

Friday, December 16, 2005

What has two thumbs and rides the bus?

This Guy!!!

This pic was taken two weeks ago when I was en route to a Christmas/going away party. It costs about 75 cents to get on the bus and it will take me anywhere in Suwon. I tried the bus once back home and it was totally miserable as it took nearly two hours for me to travel about 10 miles. Not here, baby. The buses rule the road and they are all over the place.

The buses move along the streets at breakneck speed and all the other motorists and pedestrians have the good sense to get the hell out of the way. In order to board one of these things, one has to get a running start and run along side the bus as it slows down just enough to let you on. Think a bicycle relay team and you get the picture. The drivers don't piddle around at the bus stop and they never make unnecessary stops. These guys make turns that don't seem physically possible and blow through intersections daring any jackass to get in front of them. If anything gets in their way, they honk their mammoth horns which part the earth in front of them.

And just in case you're wondering, I always wear that expression on the bus. As if it isn't weird enough to see a white boy, the passengers have an especially goofy one to deal with. The picture was taken by my neighbor Pam, who told me to look pensive for the photo. I gave her my best pensive face and I think it worked out well--at least, if pensive means what I think it does.

On a side note, I have to give credit for everything I'm wearing in this photo except for the gloves to my wonderful Aunt Shirley, whom I miss alot.

Coming up next... the subway.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Oh sing, choir of angels...

I know, I know. Great photograph. I couldn't have taken one two days ago when they were all sitting in their seats attentively. Okay, that never really happened, but they sure can sing. I actually had a better picture, but my memory card was full and I just realized it when I tried to find the picture. From the left we have Anna, Cathy (who is unfortunately out of frame), Hannah, Jin, Alex, Tommy, and Dave. Absent this day were Chelsea and Anne, two stars of the Christmas song recording. You snooze, you lose.

This class is really growing on me, kinda like a fungus. The little guy laying on the desk is Dave, who wears the biggest cat-ate-the-canary grin perpetually. He does a thing where he will look at me real seriously and then raise one eyebrow that floors me every time. He caught me this evening while Anna was reading and I broke out laughing. Sorry, Anna. I guess it's payback for all the times she breaks out laughing while I'm talking. The mischeivian (Did I just make that word up?) with the cap in the back is Jin. He played dumb for the first few weeks, giving me blank stares and shaking his head. However, once we started practicing our Christmas song, he showed his true colors. This kid belted out every word perfectly, confirming my suspicion that he was just pretending to not understand. It's a shame that Cathy didn't make it into the picture, as she is a real joy. I'll have to give her her due later. Although, Hannah was hiding in the other picture, so I'm glad I caught her. Hannah is very nice and well-behaved, but also very shy. Alex is a very bright one, and the boy next to him, Tommy, is new but has alot of potential. Sorry, I'm still in evaluation mode.

So these kids blew me away last week when I taught them the first verse to "Jolly Old St. Nicholas" and was greeted with the usual blank stares. This was Monday. Well, Wednesday I walked into class and they had not only learned the entire song Tuesday, but they were singing it in perfect harmony (Well, at least compared to my other classes). It may very well have been my happiest moment at work. We re-wrote the final verse that night to include everyone in the class's name in the song, and started recording Friday. We finished Monday, and tonight it was back to business. However, things were different with our normal lesson as the kids were finally interested and I was enjoying their company and having fun. It's too bad they can't all be like this--I'll talk about my nightmares on another occasion.

Stay tuned as I will post some thoughts on public transportation as soon as my lovely neighbor Pamela sends me the pictures...

Monday, December 12, 2005

Meandering gobbledygook

I don't really have a topic to write about this evening, but I feel obligated to post something. I actually have a few topics I want to cover this week, however, I don't have the pictures on hand as they are on the office computer. All of my time on the office computer the last week has been eaten up by student evaluations.

Student evaluations are a pain for all teachers and are especially tough for me since I still can't remember everyone's names. I have somewhere between 60 and 90 students and had to assess each one's performance this week. Generally I would follow a simple formula. First thing to do is to start off with a general, vague complement i.e. Suzi is a good student and she demonstrates a grasp of the material or Johnny is a good student and he demonstrates a grasp of the material. Next, I follow up with a blurb on their behaviour, i.e. Suzi is very well behaved in the classroom and sets a fine example for the other students or Johnny'd better straighten his ass up in the classroom or I will physically kill him. After that, I offer a small, tactful blurb on their deficiency(s), i.e. While Suzy shows tremendous potential, she is a little behind the other students in her reading and would benefit from a little extra study at home or Johnny is not a complete retard and is decently capable of learning English if he quit screwing around. Lastly, I offer a complement and a little encouragement i.e. Keep up the good work Suzi, and you'll be caught up with the rest of the class in no time or Johnny, you're lucky to be alive at this point. Pay attention, or else!

Now, repeat this formula 80 times and you'll understand why I haven't posted anything.

I realize this post is a little all over the place, but I didn't have a topic and wrote it because it was due. Ahhh, takes me back to my Ol' Mizzou days. Speaking of Missouri, I spoke with a fellow from Colorado the other night and he referred to Missouri as the New Jersey of the midwest. The question I have is who should be more offended, Missourians or New Jersians (New Jerseyans?, I dunno)? I do miss the old university and even checked the standings today. Mizzou football finished 6-5, while the basketball team is 3-3. Some things will never change. Death, taxes, and Mizzou sports mediocrity.

Anyway, I just wanted to get something out there for my devoted fans (mom and dad) and to say that I'll have something more substantial and possibly entertaining in the next day or so--pictures included. As soon as the evaluation hangover wears off...

Monday, December 05, 2005

At last, a post that actually says something.

Not, really, but I did finally get somewhat of a handle on my technological inefficiency and was able to locate this picture. It took me about six hours, which in this pc room will run me about four bucks. A pc room (known around here as a pc bang) is a place where anyone can get on a computer and surf the net or play computer games. They are on every street corner and usually cost 1000 won per hour. They are typically noisy and smoky, however this one is very nice. There are normally kids here, but it has never been too crowded, noisy, or smoky for my liking. Plus, they bring me coffee when I sit down, which tastes suspiciously like cheap hot chocolate.

Starting clockwise from the left, we have Patrick, Peter, Sean, Angel, Lina, and Rudy. As you may know from my pictures, about one in every four Korean girls are born with a defect in which they have no nose or mouth. Thus, Lina opted to hide her shame behind Rudy. I took this picture after our trip to the local street vendor for dok boki. Not pictured is the strained look of hidden disgust as I bit into a gelatinous, funky, fishy meatball. "How do you like, teacher?" they say. To which I reply: "It's (gag) delicious." as I try to hide my grimace. Actually the rice dumplings, cheese, and sauce are tasty--it's the fishballs (or possibly a fish's balls) that I have a hard time with.

What I don't have a hard time with is this particular class. They are my smartest bunch and I look forward to seeing them on mondays, wednesdays, and fridays. We are currently practicing "Santa Claus is coming to Town" for the Christmas album. I would have objected to singing a song about Satan Claus, but international law mandates that it is un-p.c. to mention Jesus in the classroom, even though it's his birthday and all. Joking aside, (yes, I was joking--sort of) the kids are very enthusiastic singers, which is a quality I've found common to most of my kids. They just love to belt out into song, and I don't mind as long as I don't have to sing along. So we begin recording wednesday and the album will be done by Christmas. I'm working on other songs with my other classes and I can't wait to see how "Blue Christmas" with the 6-8 year olds will turn out. I have to admit, song practice is fun. The only downside is the fact that it's the first week of December and I'm already sick of Christmas music.

HO, HO, HO!!! Merry Christmas and God bless us, everyone!

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Forget it, I quit.

I give up. I quit. I've been trying to upload, or download, or sideload, or whatever the whatyouwanttosay load this stinking (PG 13 journal) picture for the last hour (more like three days) and I just can't do it. Honestly, I have no idea how I successfully posted the pictures that we all saw, but I think it was akin to a blind squirrel finding an acorn. Actually, I think the blind squirrel had the better odds of the two.

So now we should take this moment to give thanks for the unbelievably fortuitous current in the ebb and flow of the universe that somehow allowed me to show nice pictures to go along with the not as interesting words. I have this really nice picture of my students eating dok boki, and I wanted to share it with the world. Alas. So, while I re-configure the method in which a sun shines on a dog's bungus (is that a better word than ass?), I'll digress and talk about dok boki.

My first week of class I was pretty much clueless (Oh yeah, I'm much better now), so I took it casual and talked to the kids about food. I went about it by writing what I had for lunch on the board in Hangul (the Korean alphabet) and having them describe it to me. I ended up having them write what they had in Hangul and we would go through each item and describe what it is, how it is cooked, what it tastes like, etc. etc. While it sounds silly, it actually was a great conversation piece, simultaneously stimulating conversation and helping me decide what to order for dinner.

One thing about Koreans: They really love their food, and they love to talk about it. Being a lover of food myself, the first week was really stimulating. One thing that I found that every kid ate yet noone could really describe was dok boki. Now, "dok" is a type of rice dumpling, which is akin to a chewy noodle. Not bad. Don't ask me what the hell "boki" means, though. I know that kids here are obsessed with this stuff and they eat it all of the time. It consists of tubular rice dumplings cooked in a spicy red sauce (think Chef Boyardee with a zing) and topped with cheese. Oh, and like C.B. the treat has meatballs, called odeng (don't ask me if the spelling is correct, just think: "oh, dang."). These meatballs are actually funky gelatinous fishballs which is probably where the term "oh, dang" came from.

Anyway, the picture I meant to show was yours truly eating dok boki with his smartest and gentlest class. However, technology frightens and confuses yours truly so you'll have to wait a day or so to visualize this scene. Since I couldn't leave my beloved (3) readers empty-handed for half a week, I decided to give y'all this pointless rant. So next time, which will be soon, think Peter, Patrick, Sean, Angel, Rudy, Lina, and dok boki... and have a wonderful day.